This weekend I spend 4 days for the first time at a Wanderlust festival and I am so grateful and inspired right now – I filled my cup right up to brim.
The main reason I booked my ticket is Elena Brower – a very inspiring lady and yoga teacher. I have been following her for many years and simply could not not go, when she comes right to my doorstep. I felt a bit like a yoga groupie.
It is so amazing to witness teachers who have walked the yogic path for so many years. I have heard so many inspiring talks with no scrips – people talking from their hearts, walking the walk, putting all the hard work in themselves. And you can see and feel the wisdom and calm emanating from them. The prime example and display that if we change ourselves, we inspire others to change too and therefore change the world, but the work has to start with us.
Elena and her son Jonah, who is 10 gave a talk on Awakened Parenting and to see their interaction on stage was amazing. Jonah is such a confident, honest and well rounded child and their relationship is admirable. Parenting is something that moves me every day somehow, I am aware of the behaviours that I am not proud of (anger, short fuse, impatience, to stressed to be really present etc.) and I am always looking for ways to improve how I act or react. So I took lots of notes in this talk.
I thought I would share some of the the tips and tricks they implement in their family:
– Put self care first – if the parents are tired and unfulfilled, we can’t take care of our families. If we don’t take care of ourselves – we can’t take care of others. And also our children learn by our example that is is important to honor our own needs.
– Choose the frequency of being consciously in every moment. We have a choice as parents. Go and get some space and walk away to find the right frequency if things get a bit out of control.
– Don’t stare your kids down – there is no need for constant eye contact. it can be intimidating for children to look us in the eye all the time.
– explain the meaning of what you are saying to children. The spirit behind your decisions, boundaries etc.
– At every mealtime choose a topic to discuss as a family, so the children learn to express their opinions, emotions and feel heard. Take turns at listening and talking, so everybody gets a chance. Set goals as a family, talk about hopes, wishes etc.
– If things turn to custard use these 4 words instead of shouting and getting angry: “How can I help”.
– Do “Do overs”. When things didn’t go so well, decide to do it again but in a better way. That gives everybody a chance to learn new habits in interaction.
– Offer your children small options to choose from, so they learn to make good choices and feel as if they are involved in the decision making e.g. “Would you like to do your homework now or in 10 minutes”
– Ask for forgiveness and say sorry as a parent if we messed up. That shows the children that we don’t do everything right all the time, that we are able to reflect on ourselves and very important teach them to say sorry by leading by example.
– At bedtime take time to talk to your kids about their day. Ask questions. Use that quiet time to really connect. Ask your child “What could I have done better today? & What did I do great today” Let you child talk freely and let them express what they feel.
– Expect nothing and behave the way you want your children to behave.
– Aim to move from control to empowerment. Allow them a voice & opinion and respect it fully (tolerance).
– Don’t block children from expressing their emotions. If they learn to communicate their feelings from early on, it will set a good base for later years.
– Elena recommended the books of Dr. Shefali https://drshefali.com/ .
I hope you find some inspiration in here. And if you have the time there is an older talk of Elena and her son HERE.