I just finished a vigorous (for my anyhow) 90-minute guided vinyasa yoga practice and reflected afterwards how my yoga practice has changed and evolved of the years. Here are my reflections:

I liked the idea of yoga for a very long time. When I was travelling over 20 years ago I bought myself a small yoga book with a CD and started practicing as often as I could in the spaces I would crash. I dropped into an Ashram for 1 week when travelling in India, but that wasn’t a very good experience, due to it being very spontaneous and not well researched. Then I got into running briefly when I gave up smoking, but my knee joints did not like that at all. After that I came across Mat Pilates, which I practiced for some years and really enjoyed. I did some pregnancy yoga and then once the kids were little found myself drawn back to a yoga practice.

I started with a very vigorous Ashtanga class and promptly injured my shoulder, because I wasn’t listening to my body and just following instruction in a practice that was really way too strong at the time for me and of course the Ego – wanting it to do the poses just as good as everyone else when I very well knew it didn’t feel right – too fast, too strong.

After recovering I switched to a more traditional Hatha class which I loved and then trialled Bikram, also a very strong and vigorous practice. But I loved the heat with the Bikram. I found that the heat actually helped my body to make the poses more accessible.  However I didn’t like being yelled at in military style for long.

When I went to my first Yin class it felt like coming home. It was so different from all the other yoga styles I had experienced and my body just soaked it all up – it felt sooooo good.

I also dabbled in Kundalini Yoga over the years and love some but not all aspects of it. So I pick and choose the practices I like.

Yoga Nidra is one of my favorites and its on my bucket list to do a teacher trainer in this modality once I can save up enough money to do it. Locally Kate McLeay guides beautiful regular Nidra sessions I try to get myself to her sessions when I can find free time. There are lots of guided online Yoga Nidra sessions and I do them whenever I feel I need rest and restoration.

At some stage I wanted  to look into yoga deeper. I started reading books about the philosophy and learn the other aspects of yoga. So I looked into teacher trainings. I did a traditional Hatha teacher training and shortly after a Yin Yoga Teacher Training. In the past few years I did so much learning of complimentary or related practices as well- Sound Healing, Reiki, Aromatherapy, Breathwork, Anatomy, Mindfulness, Meditation etc. and I love all of it. I read countless books, did many courses, studied with different teachers. At the moment I am quite happy to just practice, absorb and try to live the wisdom. Its all good and well in theory, but to apply all the practices in everyday life is where the real work starts.

I also loved Kirtan for some time, but I haven’t been recently. It just never pans out to get to the sessions. I can still remember my first few mantras, some of which moved me to tears on many occasions and touched me very deeply. It also felt like a home coming. I still listen to Mantra’s most weeks, I can highly recommend to give Kirtan a go if you feel drawn to it. There are regular Kirtan sessions at The Yoga Space in Hastings. There are lots of yoga mantras on Spotify or Youtube. See what resonates. The first mantras I was introduced to my yoga teacher Doris Blum were by Deva Premal. The Gayartri Mantra was one of my favorites. I also loved the Hanuman Mantra a lot – there are lots of versions on Spotify.

First I guided both Hatha and Yin Yoga separately in my studio and really loved both for their different aspects.  Then I had to consolidate some classes and trialed a mix of Hatha and Yin in a class for the first time, which was well received by most students as it gives us a little bit from both worlds. Life was very busy at that stage for me and in my personal practice I definitely preferred Yin to come down from the busyness.

When I was travelling with my family and more rested I rediscovered a stronger Hatha practice. I had the energy to move into a stronger practice once more. When we returned to NZ and life felt like a landslide descending  on us with new challenges on a regular basis I only had energy for a slow and mindful yin practice and often no practice at all, other than moving as mindfully as possible through my days.

Now that life seems to normalise I try to practice a mix of Hatha, Kundalini and Yin Yoga. I realised I had lost alot of  strength through just practicing really gentle and slow movements and that doesn’t feel right anymore. I also noticed that my students at times lack strength and as we age I think its important to maintain some degree of strength and steadiness. So now I really love a slow flow of Hatha and Yin to get the best of both worlds in my weekly offerings and in my personal practice. Now over the holidays I moved into stronger Vinyasa flows. I guess its all just a daily figuring out what we need and what feels right.

I still do love my 2 hour super slow and relaxing Yin Yoga classes to dial the Nervous System down, move really slow, tune in, listen and observe more deeply. I might give these a break over summer and recommence my monthly session in Autumn.

What your body needs will change over the years and the practices and teachers / guides that resonate might change too. Also what your body needs might change on a daily / weekly basis. Some yoga practices you you might have to take more rest, while in others you might be able to follow through. I feel so much more comfortable in my practice now that I have the confidence and awareness to do what feels right for me, rather than what is being instructed. When I do a guided session with a teacher I quite often choose to do something else in between or take some rest when I feel I need it. I hardly do any guided session these days where I follow 100% of the instructions like I used to when I first started. The main thing is that you feel comfortable, pain free (that might not be possible if you have chronic pain) and safe.

Its really good to try different styles and teachers to see what works best for you at this time. We are so lucky in Hawke’s Bay to have so many different movement practices on offer. I really hope you find what nourishes you and your body.

Photo is from the boat in Turkey when my body felt rested, strong and healthy. Practicing on the front of the boat was such a joy and to have time to practice when I felt like it was really special.

The end of a calendar year and the start of a new one is always a good time to reflect what I can do for me to feel more nourished in the coming year. In my blog today I am talking about my Caffeine Addiction and giving up alcohol (not an addiction for me, but just interested to see how I feel without it).

Over the past 17 years I have taken my health more seriously – because I want to have a long life to be here for my children and I want my family to be healthy and nourished. I have done lots of research on nutrition, studied Homeopathy for a year, studied about herbs and essential oils, learned to be kinder to my body. I spend a lot of money and time on my and my families health and wellbeing. Unfortunately and much to my frustration now that they are teenagers they seem to undo so much of the good work I have tried to do over the years, making organic home cooked meals, reducing sugars, toxins, having almost no processed foods, only toxic free cleaning and body care, only very limited screen time etc. etc.. Ah well, at least they had a good start I guess…

I am eating and cooking a lot more consciously, although admittedly my family is not super excited about my ideal diet, so I am making a lot of compromises due to the lack of time.  I try to move my body regularly – even if its just walking the dog or standing instead of sitting at my desk. I try to get enough sleep, to drink good stuff, to use good supplements when I feel I need them. I try to schedule regular selfcare, like nourishing holistic facials, a massage, acupuncture, chiropractor etc. Not all at once of course, but I try to mix and match and do at least 2 nice things for myself a month.

I try to take care of my mind and spirit. I stopped watching TV years ago and only watch carefully selected things now. The rule is – if it doesn’t leave me feeling good I don’t want to see it. I very much limit news and only “consume” carefully – I don’t like how media is run and how selectively and usually one sided they report and I am too sensitive to absorb all the misery shown in the news several times a day. A reporter told me once the first thing they learn is journalism school is “if it bleeds it leads”…. Anyhow that would be a whole other blogpost.

Instead I try to learn new things that interest me, journal, crochet, draw, paint, listen to audiobooks, go a for a walk, do some yoga, do a meditation etc. I have very little time to myself currently, but the little time I do have I try to spend with things that I find calming, relaxing and nourishing.

In the past year I had the inspiration to try and do away with Coffee. My hubby and I had a shared passion for coffee over the years – we were kinda coffee snobs. Tim still is enjoying his brew. But I realised I liked the ritual of sitting down and having a nice drink more. I am also fairly intertolerant to dairy and plant milks are so expensive (I have my coffee with lots of milk). I realised everytime I would have coffee my heart speeds up and I also realised I needed it (addiction hellooooo). I am also going through peri menopause and have quite a bit of physical stuff going on, so was interested to see what happens if I cut it out. I had headaches for 3 weeks after going cold turkey. Then I was fine for a few months. However I love the smell of coffee and being surrounded by coffee drinkers at home and in the office and feeling I needed the “energy boost” I had the occasional one. And then I realised the addiction kicked in again. I wanted more and I wanted regular. I noticed that I mood was declining on it too, my fuse was shorter and felt more grumpy. So I gave up again – this time it was only a few days of headaches.

I tried to replace it with a ceremonial cacao (Seleno, Keith’s or Mamamuti) which is a bit of an investment and very rich – I don’t like it all the time. I have tried Matcha tea, but its not quite the same. I like herbal teas and drink heaps of them, but I still missed the coffee smell and ritual, until a friend came around and said why don’t you try decaf – it tastes the same and doesn’t have the side effects! Well why I didn’t think of that myself I don’t know. I found a nice organic one where the caffeine is removed via water extraction: Good Fortune Coffee. They also have a little message in the coffee, like in a fortune cookie. That was such a lovely surprise (see photo). Just for your info decaf has about 2% caffeine vs. over 90% for a normal one. So now I can still get my coffee ritual with out the jittery side effects. Yay.

Apart from Caffeine I am also going to try Alcohol free / Sober life starting today. I want to see how I feel without stimulants. I don’t drink much anyway. Much to my hubbies annoyance I usually have a sip of his beer, because I wouldn’t be able to drink a whole bottle myself. I might have a glass of wine here and there and I have been known to enjoy a Gin Tonic and sometimes even a good spirit, like a Whiskey with the hubby or herb schnapps for digestion.  I am not sure how this one is going to go. It will be interesting. I have several friends who have started their sober journeys over the years and I followed with interest and queried it with myself. But because my alcohol consumption is so low and occasional anyhow, I thought its not something that really bothers me.

I grew up in a drinking culture in East Germany. We were drinking Schnapps out of the bottle when we were young and I was drunk too many times than I care to remember. I see a similar drinking culture here in NZ. I have observed lately how people talk about getting drunk / pissed as if it was something to be proud of. Responsible, nice adults too. I can’t relate to the need to escape into an alcohol haze anymore. I guess I have enough other places to escape to that I have learned over the years, that feel way more nourishing and authentic to me. It repels me to be honest, when adults get drunk and silly and think its funny or something to boast about. Also I have a nearly 17 and 14 year old now and alcohol discussions have been regular and fierce at our house. I don’t want to discuss here what concerns my children, other than that I want to be good role model and be a living proof that one can survive without alcohol. And of course I totally believe its not good for the body, mind and spirit anyhow.  Here is a podcast I listened today that was recommended by someone who also started their sober journey 7 months ago. Its a bit longwinded and American, but has some good bits of information in it as to what alcohol is doing to your brain, hormones, gut, organs etc.

I will keep you updated on the decaf and sober journey. Perhaps you feel inspired to reflect what you can let go of in the new year. I have another few things in the pipeline that I want to let go of, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself and prefer to take it one step at the time. I trial different things at different times to see what makes me feel good and what feels right and authentic to me. Some things I stick with for some time, some things I let go of after a while, some things I do regularly, some irregularly. Its good to stay curious about ourselves and our bodies.

I am wishing you a happy, healthy, fulfilled, nourished New Year, wrapped up in love, care and kindness.