After the first 1.5 weeks of heartspace yoga I just had a bit of reflection today- the last 2 months have been a bit crazy always on the go preparing for the opening. In actual fact the last 2 years have been crazy in a good way after I decided with 41 I finally needed to do something professionally that means something to me in a deeper sense. I wanted to do something to create positive change, to bring healing to people, something I could be proud of, something that feeds my heart. There were 2 things on the list – 2 things I am really passionate about – Homeopathy and Yoga.
I choose the easy version to start with – Homeopathy – I could hide behind a computer and study, I would get a student loan to pay for it and i have been using it for many years in my own family. After 3 quarters of the year I realised it didn’t feel right – i felt a bit like a failure. Having taken up a student loan which now needed to be paid back etc etc. I finished my year with really good marks and an insight well worth and lots of knowledge on board that I can use in my personal life also I could tick it off my dream list.
So onto pondering where to from here after the 3 quarters I decided to go for the yoga option. I had been practicing regularly for over 10 years and I LOVED every second of it – BUT I was really shy and the thought of having to speak in front of people and sit in front of people just completely freaked me out, plus I didn’t have any money to pay for the teacher training. Well guess what – a reasonable and practically possible teacher training turned up in my facebook feed pretty much within a day of me making my mind up, a friend offered to loan me the money and off I went. So parallel to finishing my Homeopathy study I started studying for my yoga teacher training and man what a difference – every piece of information I could apply straight away in a practical way in my life. The study flowed easily – I loved it – I loved the intense immersion course – training every day 6 am until 9 pm. Although I was challenged in every way to step out of my comfort zone i loved it – a good sign I am on a right path.
It never ceases to amaze me how I am holding my self back or have been holding myself back for so many years due to limiting beliefs, fears, worry and self-doubt. If someone told me last year same time that I would be running my own yoga-room teaching almost everyday, meeting new people almost every day and mostly being confident and calm in doing so, sitting in front of full classes of people I have never seen before I would have declared them mad.
But here we go – I am doing it – I am learning to trust that I am capable, that I have something to give, that other people can benefit from what I teach / guide. It still feels sometimes as if I am in a parallel universe doing what I love, running my own “business” and creating something that I feel comfortable with, that I believe in – its AMAZING!
If you have a dream – go for it. If you carry fear, self-doubt, worry – kick yourself in the butt and do it anyway – god knows where it will take you, but if its meant to be and if you follow your heart – its mind blowing how things seem to fall into place – almost as if someone is laying out the paving for you while you walk while someone else keeps kicking your backside periodically to make sure you are still moving forwards.
Trust – go for dreams – always! The world needs it – right now. Follow your heart! Believe in yourself, flap those wings and soar!