Category: Open Journal

I am so excited to finally be able to let you know session times for my new yoga room at Aspyre Fitness, 208 Heretaunga Street East in Hastings. I am going to start session from Monday 20th February 2017.

It is a newly created and purpose built yoga room and located upstairs in Aspyre Fitness. Change rooms, showers and sauna are available free of charge before and after yoga sessions. You don’t need to be a gym member to come.

I experienced Marius & Jeltje’s Gong Concert in Golden Bay on my Yoga teacher training and it was one of the most amazing sound experiences I have ever had. They play a huge range of weird and wonderful instruments with the main thing being 4 huge gongs from Germany. Please support them by coming.

You can prebook for $30 per ticket or at the door sales for $35. We have 50 spaces available – please share with your friends and book in.

 

This weekend I spend 4 days for the first time at a Wanderlust festival and I am so grateful and inspired right now – I filled my cup right up to brim.

The main reason I booked my ticket is Elena Brower – a very inspiring lady and yoga teacher. I have been following her for many years and simply could not not go, when she comes right to my doorstep. I felt a bit like a yoga groupie.

It is so amazing to witness teachers who have walked the yogic path for so many years. I have heard so many inspiring talks with no scrips – people talking from their hearts, walking the walk, putting all the hard work in themselves. And you can see and feel the wisdom and calm emanating from them. The prime example and display that if we change ourselves, we inspire others to change too and therefore change the world, but the work has to start with us.

Elena and her son Jonah, who is 10 gave a talk on Awakened Parenting and to see their interaction on stage was amazing. Jonah is such a confident, honest and well rounded child and their relationship is admirable. Parenting is something that moves me every day somehow, I am aware of the behaviours that I am not proud of (anger, short fuse, impatience, to stressed to be really present etc.) and I am always looking for ways to improve how I act or react. So I took lots of notes in this talk.

I thought I would share some of the the tips and tricks they implement in their family:

– Put self care first – if the parents are tired and unfulfilled, we can’t take care of our families. If we don’t take care of ourselves – we can’t take care of others. And also our children learn by our example that is is important to honor our own needs.

– Choose the frequency of being consciously in every moment. We have a choice as parents. Go and get some space and walk away to find the right frequency if things get a bit out of control.

– Don’t stare your kids down – there is no need for constant eye contact. it can be intimidating for children to look us in the eye all the time.

– explain the meaning of what you are saying to children. The spirit behind your decisions, boundaries etc.

– At every mealtime choose a topic to discuss as a family, so the children learn to express their opinions, emotions and feel heard. Take turns at listening and talking, so everybody gets a chance. Set goals as a family, talk about hopes, wishes etc.

– If things turn to custard use these 4 words instead of shouting and getting angry: “How can I help”.

– Do “Do overs”. When things didn’t go so well, decide to do it again but in a better way. That gives everybody a chance to learn new habits in interaction.

– Offer your children small options to choose from, so they learn to make good choices and feel as if they are involved in the decision making e.g. “Would you like to do your homework now or in 10 minutes”

– Ask for forgiveness and say sorry as a parent if we messed up. That shows the children that we don’t do everything right all the time, that we are able to reflect on ourselves and very important teach them to say sorry by leading by example.

– At bedtime take time to talk to your kids about their day. Ask questions. Use that quiet time to really connect. Ask your child “What could I have done better today? & What did I do great today” Let you child talk freely and let them express what they feel.

– Expect nothing and behave the way you want your children to behave.

– Aim to move from control to empowerment. Allow them a voice & opinion and respect it fully (tolerance).

– Don’t block children from expressing their emotions. If they learn to communicate their feelings from early on, it will set a good base for later years.

– Elena recommended the books of Dr. Shefali https://drshefali.com/ .

I hope you find some inspiration in here. And if you have the time there is an older talk of Elena and her son HERE.

Feeling so grateful, inspired, connected. Feeling like i shedded another few bricks from my heart & opened more. Feeling like i learned a lot in 3 days. Feeling grateful for all the amazing teachers who share their gifts with the world. Feeling like i have got work to do even if i am scared. Feeling a bit braver again and a bit more grown up. Cup is full. Body is sore. Heart is open. Mind is calm. Want to do this every month. Thank you to all the people who make this possible.

The last week has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. I have just signed a sublease agreement for a newly created yoga room at Aspyre Fitness, opposite Cornucopia and Common Room.

It is a small, cosy and intimate space for 10-12 students and it includes usage of shower, change room and sauna facilities of the Aspyre Fitness studio. The room is upstairs and tucked away in a quite corner, I love the feel of it and think it will be a beautiful space to practice and teach yoga in.

I will start teaching from the 13th February with regular sessions in Hatha and Yin Yoga. There will be sessions at 6 am, 6.30 am, 9.30 am, 12 pm lunchtime / 45 mins sessions, 5.30 and 7 pm. All sessions apart from the lunchtime ones are going to be 1 hour. I also have some exciting workshops in mind, that I want to share once I am settled. The final timetable will be out soon. I will also do some beginners workshops for students who don’t have any yoga experience.

Session prices will be $12 for a concession card of 10 sessions, valid for 6 months, $14 drop ins, $10 pensioners & Students, Koha possible on enquiry if unwaged. And of course I will offer some specials in the first few weeks.
So the exciting bit is, that I can create my own little yoga space, that has the atmosphere that I envisage and have been dreaming about and that I can be flexibile with my sessions to fit around our family life. It also means, that I don’t have to carry my yoga props around town having to settle into different spaces for every session. And even better I love it that my students will be able to have a shower after session, have access to change rooms and a sauna if they desire.

The scary bit is – this offer came out of the blue, I wasn’t really prepared to take such a big leap so fast. But after much consideration and a few sleepless nights I decided I would take the risk and give it a go. So now I have committed to providing a regular great service to the community, which will take lots of personal commitment and energy and regular expenses, with only few clients, as I am a new kid on the block. Then the fear creeped in -what if I am not good enough, what if students don’t like my teaching, what if I don’t earn enough money to cover expenses, what if this is too big a commitment etc. etc. That’s there the trust has to come in, that it will be alright and that it was meant to be.

Tim, my husband reminded me, that I have taken way bigger risks in my live than this one. For example with 19 I packed my stereo in my stone-age VW and a few clothes and moved to Berlin – within a weeks notice to a flat I had been offered out of the blue. At the time I was unemployed, lived in an uninspiring and suffocating area of Germany. I had about $500 unemployment benefit per month and the flat, 4 stories up was $150 per month with 1 room, no shower, coal oven and lovely rat visitors on the windowsill in Kreuzberg a really buzzing and cultural hot pot area of Berlin. I had 3 amazing job offers within 2 months and ended up living there for 10 years, making the most of everything this amazing city had to offer.

Then with 29 I was so unhappy after a few failed relationships and unsatisfied by my corporate career, that I quit my job, my flat, dissolved my household, put a few cartons in my parents house and left Germany with backpack, filling my pants, because I had only a very rough idea as to what I was going to do. I had saved up half my wage for a few years, so I had a bit of money on my account. All I knew was that I wanted to learn english and New Zealand seemed like a good option to do just that. I travelled for 6 months in Asia first, leaning to be with just myself, learning to listen to the inside, shed my unhappiness and discover who I was and what I wanted. Although ultimately that took me a good more 10 years to really to figure out.

Then when I was 30 I had almost finished my year in New Zealand and planned to go to Australia for a year to learn even more english and work in a proper job. But then Tim came along. Within 3 months I had to make my mind up whetever to stay or go. We kind of were in love but everything was still pretty fresh. To make a long story short I took the leap, invested my last money in a good immigration lawyer and put trust in place and knowledge that money could be replaced but love not. Well 13 years later it turned out this was just about the best decision I made in my whole life – I have won the husband lottery out of the blue – he just appeared when I least expected it.

And then 2 years after we both took another leap of faith and decided we wanted to be parents – another completely unpredictable biggy. Needless to say that this was another good decision. Our 2 children have been my best, real teachers. Everyday they hold the mirror up for me to reflect how I speak, how I act, If I am fair & kind or not. Everyday they are plainly honest – an invaluable gift. I am so grateful to be able to be a mum, even if there are days when I am overwhelmed and doubt my capabilities.

So the conclusion is I have jumped off bigger cliffs before without having wings – they grew and appeared. And mostly the scariest things I did where also the best.

So I trust Heartspace Yoga & me will be just fine and hopefully provide a helpful service to our community. I am looking forward to seeing you on the mat soon.

[FBW]

Its nearly 12 at night and I can’t sleep. I thought I would share what’s going around in my head. Funnily enough Loren McPherson just shared this quote on her profile which seems quite fitting.

So here you go – I can be a real arsehole – not all the time of coarse, just sometimes – most of the time I try to be good. But whats next worse to actually being an arsehole is being aware that I am one.

Awareness is the greatest gift that I have received through yoga and meditation. And its kind of a pain too, because I can’t get away with things anymore like I used to. I just used to blame the “others” for whatever, and try my very best to put myself right. With awareness, that doesn’t work anymore. Its kind of like watching myself in disbelief being an arsehole and knowing quite well I am wrong. I can feel when I am off, in my tummy, in my concience and then comes the reflection and realisation of what I just did.

The last 2 days I spent flat out in the garden – it looked like a jungle. I also did a lot of thinking about ego, about me, observing whats going on in my monkey-mind, reflecting and planning where to from year, whats is this New Year about. When I am on a mission I am best not disturbed, so I didn’t really take the time and patience for my kids when they wanted things. Tim really backed me and was the sweetest thing, cooking dinner both days, so I could carry on. Tonight he choose a movie “Mr Church” – he puts a lot of thought in choosing movies for us – because I can’t stand violence, action, too sad etc. – its complicated. The movie really moved me and was so fitting to whats being going on in my head, because it was all about appreciating your loved ones, friendship, creating a loving family and loosing them through death. On reflection I thought how often I have been an arsehole to the people I love most including Tim and the children. Just by not taking the time, attention, presence and acceptance to be there for them properly. I am also neglecting my friends – life is just so busy and I really enjoy some “me” time if I can get some. And I had a few flashbacks from years back when I was a real arsehole and not even being aware of it.

I can already hear people saying “don’t be too hard on yourself”, but for me its more about being truthful about what I do, how I act, how I react, observe my mind, my behavior, the chatter, the feelings, the constant movement of energies – feeling good, bad, sad, happy, angry, jealous – who I am in this human body and I am learning to accept, that is o.k. to not be able to do the right things all the time, because from my mistakes I learn and grow. And I am learning how freeing it is to be honest with myself and I am so grateful for awareness, even if it hurts sometimes and I am grateful to be getting better at forgiveness, rather than beating myself up for long.

There is only one problem left: what to do when I encounter a real arsehole, who is not aware that they have their head stuck in their backsite. I know a few people, who I have tried halfheartedly to warm up to with compassion. I guess compassion is the way to go, but to be honest, I haven’t got that fine tuned yet – its a work in progress.

Now why am I writing this on my yoga page in public. I should be advertising myself as being a chilled out, beautiful looking, having it kind of sorted kind of type. Or should I share what moves me, whats real – the above is the real yoga for me. I love asana practice (postures) , because my body feels good afterwards, it calms me down and provides me with peace and quite for 1 hour in the day. But what comes through this practice – gems like awareness is what really matters – to me anyway.

Although I can say I am yoga teacher now, because I am qualified to teach, I still see myself as a student – I know lots of teachers do. I see myself as sharing this wild journey of humanity and human traits with my fellow human beings. And I am hoping to provide some inspiration through my journey, through being open and honest and real. I am hoping to create some positive change essentially, for myself, for my children, for our community and for the world one step at the time.

Yoga & Meditation, Homeopathy, good friends and my husband and children have helped me to wake up, to be aware, to get out of my head (or arse) back into my heartspace which was well protected by the many walls around it which I erected, so I can’t get hurt anymore. The walls are mostly down now – I can see all the colours, I can feel and connect with nature properly and other human beings mostly, I can feel warmth, I can feel love, I feel vulnerable, but I feel good, the best I have ever felt. That is why I call my yoga journey Heartspace Yoga.

Good night world. x

Last night I received this $20 note. My first ever payment in my very own first business venture for services I provided. I even feel odd about calling teaching yoga a business. It doesn’t seem right those two words in a row. All the money from the other sessions I did were or will be either donated to the Womans Centre or Womans Refuge.

It is strange how I felt a real resistance to take it and I know where it stems from. I have always had trouble valuing myself and the things I do. I am getting better at it, but I see this so often around me with other people doing the same – downplaying what they do, dimming their lights. I guess there is a fine balance between having a healthy self confidence & self value and a bloated ego.

Yay I did it – WE did it. I received my 200 hrs yoga teacher training Certificate last weekend.

Thank you to all my willing students, especially the ones who had to put up with video cameras in the rooms – I couldn’t have done this without you.

Thank you to all the willing people who let me teach in their spaces and to the teachers locally who have been so generous with their advice, help and support. I am really grateful.