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Excitement & opportunity versus fear

The last week has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. I have just signed a sublease agreement for a newly created yoga room at Aspyre Fitness, opposite Cornucopia and Common Room.

It is a small, cosy and intimate space for 10-12 students and it includes usage of shower, change room and sauna facilities of the Aspyre Fitness studio. The room is upstairs and tucked away in a quite corner, I love the feel of it and think it will be a beautiful space to practice and teach yoga in.

I will start teaching from the 13th February with regular sessions in Hatha and Yin Yoga. There will be sessions at 6 am, 6.30 am, 9.30 am, 12 pm lunchtime / 45 mins sessions, 5.30 and 7 pm. All sessions apart from the lunchtime ones are going to be 1 hour. I also have some exciting workshops in mind, that I want to share once I am settled. The final timetable will be out soon. I will also do some beginners workshops for students who don’t have any yoga experience.

Session prices will be $12 for a concession card of 10 sessions, valid for 6 months, $14 drop ins, $10 pensioners & Students, Koha possible on enquiry if unwaged. And of course I will offer some specials in the first few weeks.
So the exciting bit is, that I can create my own little yoga space, that has the atmosphere that I envisage and have been dreaming about and that I can be flexibile with my sessions to fit around our family life. It also means, that I don’t have to carry my yoga props around town having to settle into different spaces for every session. And even better I love it that my students will be able to have a shower after session, have access to change rooms and a sauna if they desire.

The scary bit is – this offer came out of the blue, I wasn’t really prepared to take such a big leap so fast. But after much consideration and a few sleepless nights I decided I would take the risk and give it a go. So now I have committed to providing a regular great service to the community, which will take lots of personal commitment and energy and regular expenses, with only few clients, as I am a new kid on the block. Then the fear creeped in -what if I am not good enough, what if students don’t like my teaching, what if I don’t earn enough money to cover expenses, what if this is too big a commitment etc. etc. That’s there the trust has to come in, that it will be alright and that it was meant to be.

Tim, my husband reminded me, that I have taken way bigger risks in my live than this one. For example with 19 I packed my stereo in my stone-age VW and a few clothes and moved to Berlin – within a weeks notice to a flat I had been offered out of the blue. At the time I was unemployed, lived in an uninspiring and suffocating area of Germany. I had about $500 unemployment benefit per month and the flat, 4 stories up was $150 per month with 1 room, no shower, coal oven and lovely rat visitors on the windowsill in Kreuzberg a really buzzing and cultural hot pot area of Berlin. I had 3 amazing job offers within 2 months and ended up living there for 10 years, making the most of everything this amazing city had to offer.

Then with 29 I was so unhappy after a few failed relationships and unsatisfied by my corporate career, that I quit my job, my flat, dissolved my household, put a few cartons in my parents house and left Germany with backpack, filling my pants, because I had only a very rough idea as to what I was going to do. I had saved up half my wage for a few years, so I had a bit of money on my account. All I knew was that I wanted to learn english and New Zealand seemed like a good option to do just that. I travelled for 6 months in Asia first, leaning to be with just myself, learning to listen to the inside, shed my unhappiness and discover who I was and what I wanted. Although ultimately that took me a good more 10 years to really to figure out.

Then when I was 30 I had almost finished my year in New Zealand and planned to go to Australia for a year to learn even more english and work in a proper job. But then Tim came along. Within 3 months I had to make my mind up whetever to stay or go. We kind of were in love but everything was still pretty fresh. To make a long story short I took the leap, invested my last money in a good immigration lawyer and put trust in place and knowledge that money could be replaced but love not. Well 13 years later it turned out this was just about the best decision I made in my whole life – I have won the husband lottery out of the blue – he just appeared when I least expected it.

And then 2 years after we both took another leap of faith and decided we wanted to be parents – another completely unpredictable biggy. Needless to say that this was another good decision. Our 2 children have been my best, real teachers. Everyday they hold the mirror up for me to reflect how I speak, how I act, If I am fair & kind or not. Everyday they are plainly honest – an invaluable gift. I am so grateful to be able to be a mum, even if there are days when I am overwhelmed and doubt my capabilities.

So the conclusion is I have jumped off bigger cliffs before without having wings – they grew and appeared. And mostly the scariest things I did where also the best.

So I trust Heartspace Yoga & me will be just fine and hopefully provide a helpful service to our community. I am looking forward to seeing you on the mat soon.

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